You Stay Classy


Warning: This next tale is not safe for work or the squeamish.

This 30 something year old gentleman came in complaining of blood in his semen. Both him and his girlfriend were present in the room upon walking in. Looking at the patient I said “How can I help you tonight?” His girlfriend jumped right in “I blew my boyfriend last night and when he came, I thought it tasted funny so I spit it out and it had blood in it. We had just had anal sex, so I think that might have had something to do it”. Stunned at the fact that she had volunteered all this, without actually being asked or addressed, and hoping that there had been a shower in between said acts, I did the best I could to get through the rest of the history and physical. As I was walking out the girlfriend interjected “You know doc, we could do another trial right now, just to see if he’s cured.”  “No! that won’t be necessarily, just relax for a few minutes and let me put in a few orders”  So I left, presented the patient and when I saw the attending coming back from the room laughing, I could only imagine. “Apparently they snuck into the bathroom and he is now fully cured of his complaint, and they are going to leave. Make sure you document that there was a “test of cure” “. 

About ER Jedi

I’m a resident doctor in Emergency Medicine and I’ve learned during the past few years that 1) I’ve had some pretty amazing experiences 2) I have a very bad short-term memory. So this blog is just a place for me to write about some of these experiences, from the ER, medical school, the wards and life in general. At least that way I’ll have some idea as to where I’ve been all this time. A scrap-book of sorts, a place to vent, organize some clinical tools and post a few good songs I’ve heard along the way.

Posted on March 8, 2012, in Emergency Medicine, Hilarity Ensues. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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