The Children’s Brothel

One night I was working as Charles 11, the officer who covers the children’s hospital. We got a call in dispatch from the 5th floor of the hospital asking for an officer to come up as “something wasn’t quite right” about one of the visitors. The charge nurse had placed the call and when pressed for details, she stated that a 15-year-old male patient had  asked for a visitor to come up at the very end of visiting hours. The patient had said the visitor was his aunt and the patient’s nurse, new to the floor, approved the visit. The charge nurse, a bit more savvy, knew that the patient had been at the hospital for almost a week and this was the first time he had had an aunt visit. Other visitors from the boy’s family had always come together as a group, and early in the day, leaving before dinner time. She took the initiative and called the boy’s mother who confirmed that there was no chance that any of the boy’s aunt’s could have come to visit as they all lived in distant parts of the country.

When I arrived on the floor, I confirmed with the charge nurse the above information and went to speak with the boy. He was resting in bed and you could see him visibly become nervous when I walked into the room. I started questioning him about who this female visitor was and he continued to insist that this woman was his Aunt Tina. He stated that she had come up to the floor and that they had gone for a walk together and then she had left about a half an hour later.  He stuck to his story that this woman was his aunt, so to be sure, I called the boy’s mother again to confirm that there was no Aunt Tina in the family, and as far as she was aware, he had no friends named Tina nor girlfriends or any females in his life that would have come to visit him in the hospital.

By this time my sergeant had reached the floor and she had stopped to pull the security tapes of the elevators leading onto and off of the floor. About the time of “Aunt Tina” arriving on the floor, we noticed a single woman, wearing a halter top, hot pink miniskirt and knee-high boots getting off the elevator.  If you pictured a black Julia Roberts at the start of Pretty woman, you would not be too far off

So at this point, it was time for a little tough love. We took the kid out of his hospital room and brought him into a conference room. If they had been a desk lamp, I’m sure Sgt. Van would have pointed it right at he kid. After only a few seconds of “If you don’t come clean, right now, you are going to be in a WHOLE lot of trouble” Before long, the kid broke like an XBOX the day after the warranty expires.

Aunt Tina was indeed a prostitute. The boy had gotten a hold of the yellow pages and called an escort service. The woman had come to the children’s hospital, told the entrance desk she was there to see her nephew (apparently, the front desk must have assumed she just finished working her shift at the landing strip and had forgotten to change out of her work clothes) and gained access to the floor. The two went into a conference room (a different one thankfully) and had intercourse on the floor of the conference room. He then told her the money was back in his room and he was going to run and get it, and she should stay there. Apparently, he had no money (surprise!), so he hid in his room and never went back to pay her. And it’s not like she could go room to room in a hospital looking for her John, so after a short while she just left.

Naturally, when Mom arrived, she flipped out. The conference room was cordoned off as a crime scene as the patient was a minor and sex with minors = statutory rape. The PR dept. had a tough time spinning that one.

To make this long story short, we had the patient call back the escort service and say that he had to have a procedure done, so he couldnt’ come right back and pay her, but he was free now if she wanted to come back and get paid. She took the bait and when she arrived she was taken into custody, hot pink miniskirt and all.

I left the department two days after that to start a post bach program, so I never found out how it all played out. I was never called to court (thankfully as I had moved across the country), but I heard from a few friends that this was not the first time the kid had tried something like this.

My question is, as the woman, when you receive the address and it contains “children’s hospital”… doesn’t that ring some sort of bell? And when you John is wearing a hospital gown to boot!?

About ER Jedi

I’m a resident doctor in Emergency Medicine and I’ve learned during the past few years that 1) I’ve had some pretty amazing experiences 2) I have a very bad short-term memory. So this blog is just a place for me to write about some of these experiences, from the ER, medical school, the wards and life in general. At least that way I’ll have some idea as to where I’ve been all this time. A scrap-book of sorts, a place to vent, organize some clinical tools and post a few good songs I’ve heard along the way.

Posted on April 26, 2011, in 10-4. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I never knew you did this! How funny… and btw, this post totally cracked me up. Hilarious.

  2. Jess! Loved your blog as well, that post about the pi phi trip to San Fran. The picture with all of you, including Nic Dogg, Mel and Molly. It was like all my sophmore year crushes rolled up into one photo, haha.

    • That’s too funny – can’t believe that was over a decade ago! Old. Hey, I just got hand foot mouth disease and it was worse than childbirth! What’s up with that?! Love your blog. Good luck with your doctor gig 😉 I think you’ll be a great doctor.

  3. that xbox reference was awesome. still chuckling over it…

    and if anyone should go to jail, it should be the kid… 😡

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